Ramblings of the Hopless

Why?
You broke me to not hurt me.
Confusion,
Anger,
Pain,
Sadness.
What did I really do wrong?
Was there no way to fix it?
Was there no feelings at all?
If there was not,
Thank you for not crushing me later down the road.
If there was,
am I not worth it?
I knew the path I was on with you.
Accepted,
Sacrificed,
Opened my walls.
I did not mind.
I would have waited a lifetime.
If only to share with you,
How amazing it feels to be with you.
So please enlighten me how it is not fair,
That the small sacrifice of waiting,
Is more hurtful than this earth shattering sadness I have right now.
If my only fault was loving you,
Then I will move on if you not longer wish for me.
Lets stay close,
So I do not stray into the darkness.
I will forever hold a piece of you in my heart,
Even if the tears try to wash it away.

I love you.

So now that's out of the way. My trip to Maui was eventful to say the least. The best parts for me were the road to Hana, seeing the look on my niece's face as we when to get "tattoos" (hena) like aunty, eating more then I should have in gelato (soooo frikken good) and getting the start of my tattoo sleeve done for an awesome price. Some of the bad: too much beach time, Sunburns, sleeping on the floor, and my dad being rushed to the hospital. Both parents are still in Hawaii. My dad is recovering fast and we hope to see them home soon.

The poem is for what happened when I got home. I missed 2 things. My bed and my boyfriend.
I don't want to go into details. I am just very depressed and confused. I have amazing friends and family who are being so supportive right now.
Anyways I will post the link to the photos from the trip soon.

Love you all.