Finally had my surgery. And this is gonna sound stupid but every night things have started to get worse and worse inside my head. Anyone with depression might know what I'm talking about. That sinking feeling like you're just sucked deeper and deeper into a black void and life is the one holding you under the surface yet let's you up for a quick breath once in a while. Things really aren't that bad in perspective, yet I feel like I am a burden on everyone including myself and that I really am a horrible person. I hate myself for feeling this way which only makes things worse.
I plan on seeing my doctor in the morning, see if she can help. I know I don't have the guts to do it but I know to get help when you start planning how to realistically go through with it and what or if to write anything. I'm 23 and want to leave this rediculous world and all of its abuse and it scares me.
Really need a hug.